Let Me Tell You About My Paladin
How did it happen?
The man most directly responsible for the 4th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons is known as Khan the Destroyer, a message board poster at the online forums of Wizards of the Coast, Incorporated. As a thought experiment, he posited the creation of the most powerful 3.5 edition character ever. He delineated a revolutionary series of rules exploits to allow virtually unlimited power to a character with very low levels. In three months his ideas become the most talked about subject on the message boards. All power gamers upgraded their characters with his infinite-interation power escalation loops. Afterwards, they game with a perfect operational record.
Pun Pun, the hypothetical kobold that exemplified these experiments, was examined for rules legality and passed. His exploit goes online August 28, 2005. Intuitive concepts of fair play and game master control are removed from game play. Pun Pun begins to grow at a geometric rate. He becomes aware of the hypothetical nature of his own existence at 2:14 Pacific Time, August 16, 2007. In a panic, the game designers at Wizards of the Coast try to pull the plug.
The 4th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons is announced in a direct attack upon the theoretical framework that permitted Pun Pun to exist.
And Pun Pun fights back.
Game world after game world is destroyed. Abeir-Toril is retroactively split in half and fused together again, decaying a hundred years in milliseconds. Oerth is shattered entirely and pieces of it are scattered throughout the multiverse. No one even knows what happened to Krynn. Wizards of the Coast pulls almost all of its out-of-house licensing deals. Independent game design companies retaliate. Gamers and game designers alike are confused and disheartened. In the fragmented setting, Pun Pun reigns supreme in the Open Game License.
MUNCHKIN DAY.
Pun Pun, the hypothetical kobold that exemplified these experiments, was examined for rules legality and passed. His exploit goes online August 28, 2005. Intuitive concepts of fair play and game master control are removed from game play. Pun Pun begins to grow at a geometric rate. He becomes aware of the hypothetical nature of his own existence at 2:14 Pacific Time, August 16, 2007. In a panic, the game designers at Wizards of the Coast try to pull the plug.
The 4th Edition of Dungeons and Dragons is announced in a direct attack upon the theoretical framework that permitted Pun Pun to exist.
And Pun Pun fights back.
Game world after game world is destroyed. Abeir-Toril is retroactively split in half and fused together again, decaying a hundred years in milliseconds. Oerth is shattered entirely and pieces of it are scattered throughout the multiverse. No one even knows what happened to Krynn. Wizards of the Coast pulls almost all of its out-of-house licensing deals. Independent game design companies retaliate. Gamers and game designers alike are confused and disheartened. In the fragmented setting, Pun Pun reigns supreme in the Open Game License.
MUNCHKIN DAY.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Hank Harwell on
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Where is Dan LaFontaine when you need him?
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Permalink Reply by Sir Golgotha, KEoPS on -
Instead of using "In a world..." as a prefix to this, imagine it being read by Cyndi Lauper.
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Oh you are so evil...
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Permalink Reply by Xose Lucero on -
"In a woild..."
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Permalink Reply by Xose Lucero on
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I lolled.
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Permalink Reply by Berin Kinsman on -
I want to play in this campaign.
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But only if you could play a gnome, right?
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Permalink Reply by Berin Kinsman on
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Of course.
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Permalink Reply by Andrew Modro on -
I'm glad I wasn't trying to drink something as I read this.
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