Let Me Tell You About My Paladin

This Is Why I Want the World To Die

My neighbor.

By the time you read this the zeppelins carrying the first wave of my invincible gorilla army will fill the skies above your cities. It is a tragedy that so many innocents must die, but one look at this image and every decent and reasonable man will see how necessary is his sacrifice. Those unfortunate enough to survive the rain of thermite bombs will face endless waves of hooting primates driven bloodmad by torments only my scabrous hate could contemplate. They cannot be bargained with. Mercy is wholly foreign to their savage minds. They are unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality. And they fling their poo. I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies.

Tags: apocalypse, christmas

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Max Davenport on November 3, 2008 at 9:34pm: The War on Christmas: This time it's Personal!

(Actually, I'd be smiling over that display if not for the date stamp. I'm a sucker for Xmas.); ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Charlie on November 4, 2008 at 5:17am: Are you certain that it hasn't been there since *last* Christmas? Sometimes folks just blot the incredible from what they see every day...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Xose Lucero on November 4, 2008 at 9:02am: Not since last Christmas but, if last Christmas is any indication, it will stay there until Valentine's day.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sir Golgotha, KEoPS on November 4, 2008 at 9:14am: Remember kids, it's only 1510 shopping days until Christmas of 2012.

I wonder who would win in a fight: Hypnoangel's Zeppelin -ported Air Assault Gorillas, or Doctor Checkmate's Elite Flying Monkey Squadron?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Max Davenport on November 4, 2008 at 2:27pm: Don't discount the Mutant Bat-Winged Stinging Cobrillas....From the Future!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Berin Kinsman on November 4, 2008 at 9:27pm: Point of order, the flying monkeys are MINE. I just loaned a couple of platoons to Dr. Checkmate to patrol for invading Canadians.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sir Golgotha, KEoPS on November 5, 2008 at 9:04am: Except for the Quebecois. Even flying monkeys don't want to touch them. The monkeys don't know where they might have been.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Deidzoeb on November 4, 2008 at 3:17pm: I will see you and raise you:
Three Stooges headed to the big screen
Larry, Moe and Curly have gotten the greenlight from MGM Studios, and the Farrelly Brothers, the comedy team behind "There's Something About Mary" and "Dumb and Dumber," are now casting their slapstick dream.

However, that doesn't make me loathe the world. Just selected inhabitants of it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sir Golgotha, KEoPS on November 4, 2008 at 4:14pm: no.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Berin Kinsman on November 4, 2008 at 9:32pm: This is one of the few reasons I'm happy to live in a neighborhood with a homeowner's association. There are "no earlier than" and "no later than" dates for this stuff, and they'll fine your ass for it.

And what kind of sick pervert puts a Santa blow-up doll out on the porch? What you and inflatable Santa do in the privacy of the bedroom is your business, Mr. Hypnoangel's Neighbor, but think of the children. THE CHILDREN!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Max Davenport on November 4, 2008 at 9:44pm: Carcosanta.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sir Golgotha, KEoPS on November 5, 2008 at 9:08am: Great, Max, now I have visions of sugarplum tentacles dancing through my head.

"Ho, ho, ho... oh no! That's not how you stuff a stocking! That's very naughty..." Okay, I know that's completely not right at all. Now I'm starting to feel sorry for Mr. Hypnoangel's Neighbor for that tentacoo wape thought...; ▶ Reply to This